Tuesday feelings

Next week on Friday, they will make an ENMG-exam, to find out what the matter is with my hands. They ache alot, and I have trouble sleeping. Mornings are the worst, I can't open my right hand at all. Seems to be something crushing some nerves but what are the physicians going to do to make it better - only time will tell.

Sometimes I feel this is so overwhelming, I can't help but wonder Why me? Why am I the one in 100.000 who got this evil disease. Why can't I walk without aid anymore? Well atleast this disease got me to stop smoking at once. My last cigarette was lit on September 22, 2009 after I had my ABI-index measured and it was very near critical ischemia. A week after this, I was admitted to the hospital for three weeks.

During my stay at the hospital, they examined me and tried to make the ulcers in my left foot better. I had to use the wheelchair, and only few steps were allowed to be taken without assistant. The last week I received iv-medicine, Ilomedin, which should enlarge the bloodvessels. The only thing I felt the medicine did was that it caused me a terrible head ache. Since then, this treatment was redone in the beginning of December.

The sun is setting here in Finland, promised my children they could go iceskating, so I'd better start packing everything together.

Tomorrow is a new day :)